I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
