It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
