this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
