he wants to bone in the snuggie
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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