if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
