You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
