Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
