Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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