so explain again why im purple
no
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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