There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
