It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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