Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
