Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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