Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
