Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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