He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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