Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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