I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
