Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
ttyl tear gas
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
