i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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