rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
