Your face is a jimmy john
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
that is very illegal...i love you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
