i think i have two assholes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So squirting runs in the family.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
