Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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