there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
