Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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