Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
