Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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