these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
