Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
