just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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