you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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