it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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