This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
