I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
