is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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