Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
