Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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