So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
