She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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