You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
