PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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