you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
