Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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