Plan B is the new Plan A
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
