I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
40s are totally the cure
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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