They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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