do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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