The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
