they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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