My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
try to milk me bitch
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