apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize