Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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