The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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