If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
