I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
